Dating retractions, how to end a date

How to end a date

In a perfect world, all dates would be perfect and fun. The person you go out with would be sane and normal, hold a healthy sense of humour and is all things you ever wanted in a date. Some would argue that not every person you go out with ought to be the perfect person to spend the rest of your life with, as this would defeat the purpose of going out… you’re on a quest to find that person. But even those who hold this line of reasoning would agree that the date itself should be perfect and fun.

But what do you do if your date is boring, obnoxious or just plain crazy? How do you get out of it? While GOIT Guide has always given you dating extensions to keep a good thing going, we are now confronted with ending a bad thing early, or what we call: Dating Retractions.

Before delving into the retractions themselves, it is necessary to stress that different dates have different time requirements. For example, a daylong date can seemingly go on forever, while a night date has to end at some point - no snoozing allowed.

We always suggest that for daylong dates you should set a time that the date must end before the date so that regardless of how well the date is going, you have a fixed conclusion. For all other dates, once the activity has finished/gets tedious, you can always end the date then, before someone suggests using an extension.

You really have two options when requesting to terminate a date. (1) Give an honest reason or (2) make up an excuse. If you choose #2, you must decide the form of excuse. This can play on a physical attribute (e.g. “I’m tired”), a previously planned engagement (e.g. “I have to get home to wash my puppy”) or the straight-out “I would like to go home.”

Never, ever, give more than one reason why you want the date to end. Pick a reason and stick to it. This adds credibility to your explanation and avoids the absurd situation of having to justify why you want to end the date. If your date asks to join you in your (excuse) post-date activity, thank them for the date and decline the invitation. You may try changing the subject by asking your date whether they ever engaged in that post-date activity (or feel the way you do, depending on your excuse).

While GOIT would never advocate the use of untruths, there are some situations where an honest excuse would not be appropriate. If you think that your date will follow you to your post-date escape, you may want to use a little misdirection or try the straightforward “I would like to go home.” Again, never, ever feel the need to justify your desire to end a date. This will put either or both of you on the defensive and may lead to unwarranted quarrelling.

We all wish our dates would go well, but when they don’t we shouldn’t have to justify our desire to get home, and quick.